Hello in there…

So its been a while since writing, BUT: for good reason! I have finished whole brain radiation. I have been back and forth to the oncologist, family doctor, kids appointments, (well, I don’t drive, they took that power away from me) in and out of the hospital and so on. I have been on Gilotrif -target therapy, for a little over two months but had to stop for brief moments due to side effects that I just couldn’t handle. Right now I am on a break until hopefully next Wednesday. However we know that it’s working because my tumors are shrinking! 

Now I’ll whisper about the hard parts. I am afraid. Who the hell wouldn’t be?  I often say to myself, Uh, Hello in there??  Stop whining!!   Every time I have a quiet moment, or time in the shower I cry. Why? because I don’t want to express it constantly in front of my girls. I told myself not to get close to the other patients this year because I lost two very special friends last year. They meant the world to me, but… as it turns I CAN’T NOT friend others. They are human, as am I. They ask questions about myself, and so on… they have beating hearts, And I want nothing but the best for them. Most of the time I turn sad faces into smiling faces… ESPECIALLY the older patients, its great. My nurses are beyond amazing, I don’t even have a word to describe them, and my doctors are the same. Right now I am so many things, sad, angry, nervous of tests coming up, BUT also, I am grateful. Because this “Cancer” stuff takes guts, strength, a pretty big fight, and maybe some humor!!  Above all of these things, it takes faith in God. 

I have faith that God has chosen for this path for me. And I truly believe that he will find a way, for not just me… but for ALL of us fighting the fight!