Fight #3. He protects me.

So, in the last few weeks my family and I have found out that I have a fourth brain tumor, and innumerable nodules popping up in my chest. So I’ve have five days of radiation and am about to have what is called​ an SRS treatment, it’s like surgery on the outside of your brain with a very precise level and degree of radiation on the new tumor. The past few weeks have been so confusing and startling that I think I’ve taken two days to process and actually think how precious life is. How I’ve had to prepare things for my girls (just in case) and that alone threw me down. It’s not fair. However, this past Sunday I watched with the rest of my family see my oldest graduate. It was truly amazing. I’ll never forget that moment. I have some pretty cool kids! 

My other daughter is working hard and helping so much around the house and raised all of her grades and will be a junior in the fall when high school starts again. Again, I am so proud of her trying to juggle emotions and friends and you know just teen stuff. But; she did. And that grabs my heart. I am blessed. I know I complain a lot, but I really am blessed. 

On the 19th I will be starting chemo again and it is going to be rough from what my nurse explained. But they have to treat this aggressively, as to the fact my cancer is a big fat bi*ch. And will be on this regimen for the rest of my life. Taxol, Carboplatin, and Avastin. Now, I don’t know about any of you, but it doesn’t sound like a walk in the park. But I feel like if I can beat a mass in my right lobe.. then three mets to the brain, I GOT THIS. But truly WHO has me?? GOD!! 

Third time’s the charm. But as I look around and find myself getting angry or scared I have to use that energy to FIGHT. Instead of fall apart. I just wish it was that easy. Either way, I can do this. And I will not let my anchor abandon ship. It’s around my neck with hope attached to it. So what do ya say? Wanna go with HOPE and pray this round with me? 

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