Suck it, Cancer.

So it’s been a while. Okay Maybe a long while. I was really busy having my brain opened up while I was awake to grab a tumor out. I had a craniectomy. It was fierce. Did I mention I was awake!?! If I had not had this procedure done I probably would have died. it was super scary. My neurosurgeon let me see my tumor and also because I’m a whiner bought me a Diet Coke afterwards. He is awesome. I also had a port change two days later because it failed in the O.R. I was a mess with a million leads and sticky things,carts, poles, people… in my icu room I was pretty sure I was about to crack. But everyone took wonderful care of me. Got me settled down. I was just trying to understand that my life had just changed in a drastic way. I learned I would never be the same again. My left side brain took a hard hit from that tumor on my right side brain. (You know how it works, one side controls the opposite.) Moving on… I’ve had to not only learn how to tie my shoes, put on my clothes and shower it’s hard to text and sometimes read. I also have a bleed behind both eyes but worse behind my right. Surgery for them may be right around the corner.

Right now I am doing physical therapy and it isn’t fun at all . My left foot is always numb and pretty much can’t feel it.

I have had some of the most paralyzing days of my life, that are very scary with this disease, however I refuse to let it swallow me in. I admit though, it’s hard. Cancer is EVERY where in my family. Right now I’m just living. . Taking day by day and not trying to worry as much. Trying to be happier and not to be Wonderwoman; but to be as brave as I possibly can.